A Victory Against the Mean Green
by yaoilover505
Summary: Hawkeye defeats his Hulkness in a video game and the consequences are... unexpected, to say the least. Yaoi. Thor X Hawkeye. Mild Steve X Tony


A/N: Hey guys! Long time, no see. This has been sitting in my computer like forever.

First of all, this sight does not have the "Avengers Assemble" in its cartoon's list. This is the one that crosses over with the Ultimate Spiderman and Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. It was a replacement for Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes. But this is the closest I could find. And no, I don't ship this pairing in the MCU. I no ship RDJ x Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth X Jeremy Renner. Just the animated versions of the characters. It's complicated.

I don't even know if anyone actually ships this pairing. But I just watched the animated show, Avengers Assemble, and in one of the episodes (called "Hyperion") there are some suggestive moments. So...yeah.

Pairing: Thor ( ) X Hawkeye ( Barton)

Warning: Yaoi! BoyXBoy. Explicit themes.

Enjoy!

* * *

Barton swore that if he got any angrier, there would literally be smoke coming out of his mouth and ears. His face was contorted in ire and his fists were so tightly clenched that he wouldn't be surprised if his skin started bleeding. In fact, his pissed-ness could really rival the Hulk's rage. Which brings us to another important thing – the cause of his current predicament.

Hulk had lost against Hawkeye in the video game they were playing, again, which was no surprise to anyone in the tower. But His Highness couldn't handle his defeat, and tore every piece of cloth Hawkeye owned to shreds. Yes. Every. Fucking. Piece.

Clint had gotten up in the morning in only his tighty-whiteys, and Karma decided that he would be in only them for the entire day. Clint was really re-evaluating and majorly regretting the fact that he had won against the Hulk. This was **not** counted as a victory.

So with the mantra that Hulk would be his target practice dummy for the rest of his pathetic green life, he got out of bed and did his morning duties.

As much as he wanted to stay inside his room, to escape the horrendous humiliation, his stomach was about to digest itself if he didn't have anything in the next three minutes.

'Wait a minute.', he thought. The Avengers had left for a mission in China and he had a day off, which meant he was home alone, well, more like Tower alone. 'Talk about good luck!'

With a sigh, he wrapped his bed-sheet around himself, because he couldn't find anything else in the tower of the Earth's mightiest heroes, to spare Jarvis' surveillance cameras the scarring. That green bastard had even ripped his towels apart. Smart right? Now, why couldn't he use those brains when they were in the middle of a fucking mission! He even tried to get some clothes from other rooms, something that did not end well.

After tripping over the way-too-long bed sheet way-too-many times for his liking, he made his way to the pantry, and fixed himself two peanut butter sandwiches. He hummed as he relished the only bright spot in the otherwise worst day of his life.

Just as he finished up, Iron Man landed on the tower. As his armor was dismantling himself, he looked at Hawkeye with his classic raised-eyebrow look. Clint could do nothing but flush under the scrutinizing and calculative stare.

"Didn't know you were the Greek toga type, Hawkeye." Stark said, amused. "But a bed-sheet? Really?"

"Really? Don't I look just like a Greek God." He smirked trying to cover up his obvious embarrassment.

"So what did mean green do this time, did he tear up all your clothes?" Stark asked sarcastically.

"Precisely." Clint replied, a look of murder plastered on his face.

"Seriously? This is Hulk's idea of revenge?" Stark said, making strategies never to get on Hulk's revenge list. "Okay. So that's fair. But I'm pretty sure you could take someone else's clothes."

"You think I haven't tried that already?" Clint shot back. "Whose?"

"Well, Thor-!"

"And become one of his pets' breakfast? Or kill one of his pets and become Thor's breakfast? I don't think so.", he snapped back, though the idea of becoming Thor's meal wasn't entirely too unpleasant.

"Cap'n?"

"All I could find is his uniform and he strictly told me to stay the fuck away from them, the last time I wore it when I impersonated him for your 'Master Plan' to infiltrate the Cabal." He said in one breath.

"Oh." Was all Tony could say as Hawkeye, once again, started typhoon of ranting.

"I tried Falcon's room but all I found were some really dangerous looking machinery, courtesy of you, I presume. Hulk is not an option and Natasha… let's just say I like cat-suits when their on someone else, not me. Which leaves your room. But Jarvis wouldn't let me near your closet. So, a bed-sheet, it was. Any better ideas, Einstein?"

"Touché." Stark grinned, as he planned to give Jarvis more memory drives as a gift for doing such a good job from preventing anyone near his closet.

Stark smirked and once again, openly leered at Hawkeye. He knew the man was fit, courtesy of SHIELD training, at all the right places. Even compared with Steve, the Freaking Perfect Human, Clint was a very, very good looking human male specimen.

Besides, Thor had his eye on Hawkeye for some time now, but would not admit it. Now why would any mere mortal like him dare to anger the God? After the rather abrupt break-up with that… what's her name again? Forter? Foster? Yeah, Jane Foster, Stark could hardly blame the Thunder God to stay away from relationships for a while. But, it has been quite a while since then. And if he hadn't read Hawkeye wrongly, he didn't mind the attention from the Thunderer, either.

Besides, both of them need to get a sex life, something… anything, to release their tension rather than just both of them simply fighting the Hulk. UST anyone? It was spare a lot of unnatural earthquakes, reparation money and headaches. The both of them just needed a little push and it'll be settled.

With that made up in his mind, Stark led Hawkeye to his chambers while clocks whirred in his head.

Stark tossed some dark grey pants towards Hawkeye who expertly caught it and put it on as if it was water to a lost desert wanderer. He wiggled and wiggled, but the zip wouldn't go up. Fuck Tony Stark and his stupidly tiny body.

"Umm… Tony? We have a small problem." He called to Stark who was in the next room.

"What is it? Are you unable to fathom the awesomeness that is me?" He asked as he walked up to Hawkeye who had his bare back towards him.

"Ha ha, very funny. Let me just ask you one thing. How do you fit all that ego into your _tiny_ body? Emphasis on tiny." He said as he turned around to face Stark.

"Holy…" Stark trailed off. Hawkeye's manhood, that was thankfully covered by his undies and was too big for his own good, was unable to fit into pants.

"Small problem, he says…" Stark mumbled to himself.

So Clint tried every one of Tony's pants until he finally found one that did not strangle his precious family jewels. Those tight, black leather pants fit like a glove though and Stark had to admit, Hawkeye looked better in them than he did.

He wore one of Tony's loose shirts, though he had to tear off the sleeves to fit properly. Happy to be fully clothed again, Hawkeye sunk into one of the mansion's couches sighing contentedly.

Suddenly, one of the mansion's emergency Avengers stress alarm blared, red lights beeping, before Captain America's face appeared on the visual screen and his voice boomed through the speaker.

"Tony, we've got a problem. Falcon's down. I repeat, Falcon's down. Get Hawkeye, and get here. Pronto!"

Hawkeye and Tony stared at the screen with confusion.

"I think someone needs to tell Cap'n that we can hear him loud 'n' clear and this is not a military walkie-talkie that he has to scream to." Tony said, shaking his head at the old-timer.

"Ugh!" The archer groaned. "So much for a holiday!"

* * *

Wow. Now he had seen everything. Just wow.

The Great Wall of China had just abruptly stood up in the form of a dragon-humanoid-giant-thing. Seriously? Next thing you know, the Statue of Liberty would just start rampaging and causing 10.0 magnitude earthquakes in New York.

As he ran out of their Jump-jet shooting arrows at the monster, he cursed aloud for the tight leather pants did not allow flexible movement and neither did his shirt. He reached to one of his arrows, which caused the front of his shirt to rip apart. Yes. RIP.

Now he was standing in the midst of the world's greatest heroes dressed like he had just wrestled with a shark. Great! Now all he needed was a pole and some make up and there you have it folks – Top stripper in the house!

He shot arrows at the monster's limbs, while rescuing the terrified civilians. Some girls giggled while blushing as he held them and swung them across to safer areas. Even at these terrifying times, teenage girls still had the mind to ogle a fine man! Wow. Proud of the five specimen of oglers the world seemed to be adept the producing.

After all the civilians had been evacuated, Hawkeye was ready to get into the attacking front.

Hulk was doing his thing, smashing. Captain was on the ugly thing's ugly face, beating the snot out of it. Black Widow was nowhere to be seen. Probably, on one of Fury's top secret spy missions. Iron man was shooting missiles that were pretty much futile, if you ask him, while talking to his non-existent butler.

And Thor was… Thor was staring at him with a, dare he say it, lustful gleam in his eye. Thor, the Thunder God, son of Odin was Openly. Ogling. Him. That too in public!

And Thor was… about to get hit by a stone tail.

Hawkeye instinctively reached back to his arrows and shot a deadly one at the tail, effectively severing it off from the rest of its rocky body. This seemed to have brought Thor back to the world of the living. He quickly screamed a 'Thank you' to the archer and returned to hammering the beast.

Stark noticed this and called up Thor's ear-piece.

"I know you want him, and _damn_ he looks good like that. But, we are in the middle of a situation here and you better concentrate on it unless you want end up having your ass kicked by a stone wall. And, the sooner you finish hammering this, the sooner you get Hawkeye to 'pound' into." He chuckled.

This really shook Thor, but ignited a fire in him. 'The man of Iron did speak the truth', he thought. 'The sooner I finish this, the sooner I could woo the archer. And Dear Lord! Did he not look utterly ravishing?'

He attacked the beast with new vigor, thundering and sizzling the beast randomly tearing it apart. The rest of the Avengers backed away, not knowing what else to do than watch the true powers of a god unveil before them. Even Hulk was a teeny-bit scared just, **teeny-bit**.

Steve threw Tony a funny look.

"What did you tell him? Hot rod doesn't normally get so fired up."

"Heh, nothing. Just that the faster he finishes up, the faster he could pound Hawkeye to the mattress." Tony replied, earning an amused look from the Captain.

"Didn't think you would notice, Tony. Besides, I'll make sure he isn't the only one getting pounded into the mattress ." Steve leered.

Never has Tony felt so happy to have a gold-titanium alloy mask covering up his face.

* * *

After a rather eventful day, the Avengers returned to the tower – their main aim, to flop down and hope the world remains safe for some more time, especially Thor. Using so much juice, had taken its toll on his body. He was dead tired and who better to nurse him back to his usual godliness than the archer?

Well, there wasn't much a choice. Sam had to go back home since he _still_ hadn't got his own room. Hulk… well, was Hulk. Captain and Tony backed off saying they had some things to do… _things_ , indeed.

So Hawkeye was given the task of taking care of the mighty Thor in that inter-dimensional gold palace he called his room.

'Seriously, how did that manage to look so small from the outside? It was like the size of the Buckingham Palace inside, for Christ's sake! With stairs, and thrones n' all!'

Hawkeye grunted as he carried the bulky god to his bed (begging and praying none of his 'pets' were hungry). Clint knew he was muscular himself, but Thor… no one could compare to the body of his. Not even Captain America. Hulk may have more muscle mass and all, but when it came to human structure, Thor was _beautiful._ The irony, he wasn't even human.

People would probably laugh at him for calling Thor, probably the most masculine man in all of the realms, beautiful, but Hawkeye really thought so. That gorgeous blonde hair, blue eyes, dazzling smile, and that utterly jaw-dropping sculpted body. Just what part of blue-eyed blonde did one not get?!

After stripping the thundered from his layers and layers of clothing, (whew! Was that a tedious task or what?) he meticulously gave him a towel bath to wipe away the grime, all the while trying to avert his eyes from very precious family jewels hiding under the weird underpants sorta thing. He tucked the god in and was just about to leave when a sleepy groan stopped him.

The god mumbled something in Old Norse before opening the beautiful emeralds he called eyes. He looked at Clint and gave a sleepy sigh before, quite unexpectedly, grabbed Clint's arms and pulling him on the mattress. That done, he draped his arms over the archer, and went out like a light bulb.

Hawkeye was a bit shocked. He tried prying the God's meaty arms off him. No such luck. Thor was fast asleep. He could feel the thump of Thor's heart against his bare back. Seeing no point in trying to get away from the golden-haired God, Hawkeye managed to toe off his boots and fell asleep in the comfortable warmth.

* * *

When Thor got up after a few hours, feeling more rejuvenated, he had blink many times to figure out why Clint Barton was poured over him like gravy on meat. Not really remembering anything, he tried shifting around a little bit only to feel something hard poking his thigh.

Thor raised his eyebrows and smirked. 'The little Hawk seems to be having a rather nice dream.'

His sinful hands roamed the archer's body without consent before it came to contact with something wet.

"Blood…" Thor frowned. He slowly flipped the archer with his much superior strength and got above him to see various bruises and cuts littered over his torso from the fight before.

He reached down and licked a cut that seemed to be bleeding quite profusely. It sizzled and steamed a bit before closing up. Thor continued to do this, without knowing what effect his ministrations were having on the other Avenger.

"Ahhn…" a soft moan escaped from the archer's puffy lips. Thor looked up, worried if he had caused any pain to the other.

It seemed he hadn't, if the pink dusting his cheeks were anything to go by. Thor grinned as the bulge in Clint's tight leather pant grew. He licked a particular cut near his nipple, to which he was awarded with a beautiful sight. Clint arched of the bed to feel more of the heat on his nipple. The cut had been healed, but the Thunder god continued sucking on the dusky flesh. He repeated the same to the other before travelling down to the hills and valleys of the archer's abdomen.

With most of the bruises healed, Thor hesitantly moved to the pants and palmed the erection there before stopping himself. If he went any further than this, he would not be able to stop. And if he did not stop, the archer might think of this as some form of gratitude, not knowing what he, Thor, really felt for Clint.

Sighing dejectedly, he peeled his eyes away, covered him with a blanket and walked towards the bath. Little did he know that Clint Barton was awake the moment Thor had flipped him and was currently frowning as to why Thor hadn't gotten any further.

Despondent thoughts filled Clint's mind. 'Did he not want me?', 'Did I misread?'. He effectively cut off these thoughts. 'Look at me. Getting all mushy and girly about him. Fuck you Barton. If Thor didn't want me, he wouldn't have done what he did just few minutes ago. Maybe, he was a bit reluctant. Yea… that must be it. ' He smiled, blushing at the wondrous things the God of Thunder had done to him not too long ago. "Thor, you big baby." He muttered.

He heard Thor splashing water in that huge bath of his. He stood up to go in, but instead thought of something else.

He laid down on the velvety mattress and pulled his pants a little lower, just to expose a bit of his ass and the jutting hip bones. He bit and licked his lips until they were red and oh so wet. He got a little bold, and palmed his dick to hardness through his leather pants. He flipped onto his stomach, spreading eagle, with his nipples rubbing at the red velvet and hardening. He spread his legs in the sluttiest pose he could possibly muster up, jut out his ass a little for Thor to realise what _exactly_ he was missing if he wasn't gonna tap that. He smirked and closed his eyes, feigning sleep, just as Thor came into the quarters.

Clint imagined how good the god looked with his wet golden hair, and rivulets of water running down _beautifully_ sculpted muscles and moaned unintentionally. That seemed to have caught Thor's attention as he laid eyes on the position the archer was sleeping in. His breath caught in his throat.

Clint heard the gasp and felt elated. Thor moved quietly to the bed and sat down.

Clint decided to do a little experiment and flipped onto his back with a convincingly sleepy sigh, and stretched out his arms above him, and exposing the clear outline of his hardened member through the shiny fabric. He waited for something, anything to come from the Thunderer.

"Oh Clint. You must not do this to me. I have tried and again to stop myself from taking advantage of you in this state, but you are leaving me no choice. I am truly sorry for what I am going to do, but I know I will never get a chance to tell you what you mean to me for I know you do not feel the same. Just let me have you for one night." He said, before swooping down and kissing the corner of his lips.

Thor must not have been expecting response because he jumped when Clint's hands cradled his face and brought him down for a soul searing kiss. Thor's pupils were blown wide, before he came back to his senses and kissed the archer with the same single-minded determination he put into destroying that monster earlier.

After they broke apart, Clint smiled.

"Don't be so sure hot rod." Thor's face split into an identical smile before he went for another deep kiss. Clint was glad Thor was only in his towel, as he toed down his pants and pushed at Thor's towel till it came off.

He grabbed both their erection and tried pumping, but they were too large to fit in his one palm. Sensing this, Thor brought his large, calloused hands and enveloped it around their weeping members as Clint cried out. He wrapped his long legs around Thor's waist, moans of appreciation falling from both their lips between breath-taking kisses.

Thor kissed down his jaw, chin, chest (stopping to play with his nipples), before licking a wet trail down towards his prize. Thor's breath on his cock was the only warning he got before Clint's member was enveloped in wet heat.

He screamed.

Bucking wildly, he found purchase in Thor's hair as Thor deep-throated him like he was fucking born to do it. Thor bobbed and twisted, his tongue circling around the mushroom tip and pressing the slit making Clint go crazy. He fondled Clint's testicles and hummed around the tip.

Clint lost it. He fucking lost it.

He screamed and screamed, his climax going not stopping. Thick spurts of white spilled at the back of Thor's throat. Thor hummed appreciatively and sucked a little more as Clint jumped from the over stimulation. That was the best fucking blowjob of his life. He was a little sad though. He had finished before the fun had even started.

Just as he was about to say something, Thor kissed him. Clint could taste himself on Thor's tongue. 'Not too bad' he mused. And then something wonderful happened. His dick had gone from flaccid to I-am-made-of-titanium hard in three seconds flat.

He looked at Thor alarmed, while Thor smiled reassuringly.

"You should know that along with being the God of Thunder, I am also the God of Fertility. My… uh… mates have little to no, what do you Midgardians call it, ah, refractory period when they sleep with me. My mating sessions can last days on end"

Clint looked at him, dreamy-eyed.

"So let me get this straight. When I sleep with you, I can come as many times as I want, and can still jump without having to wait for Barton Jr. to re-energize?"

"Yes" Thor chuckled. "Barton Jr. and will I have a lot of fun." Clint didn't know if he should laugh at the fact the fucking God of Thunder was referring to his family jewels, like he was talking about the goddamn weather or if he should once agin be struck by the beauty of this man.

He opted for the latter.

"Have I told you how much I love you yet?" he asked, sighing dreamily.

Thor flashed a toothy grin and went down for another kiss.

"I think you might have skipped the details of that. But don't worry we have the entire night."

If all he had to do was be semi-naked for a day to him to get Thor to say those words, he would have become a fucking belly dancer months ago.

* * *

Safe to say that Clint had a little limp for the next few days and a sore throat (both of which he _claimed_ were from the Chinese monster thing (sore throat because he was screaming at civilians to get the fuck out of there)), with Thor hovering over him like his personal ghost, challenging any and everything that dared to look his Hawk in _that light_. He had even completely decimated Jarvis' memory drives containing the footage of Toga-Clint, for no one, not even a program must get to see Clint like that. What he didn't know however, was that Jarvis always made copies of the footage from any of the camera from the avenger tower. Well, that teensy bit could be kept between Jarvis and Tony.

Clint unintentionally chuckled at Thor's - no, _his lover's_ \- antics. And to think the fateful day had started out so badly. Maybe his win against the Hulk was counted as a victory after all.

* * *

A/N: Aaaaaaand I'm done! Yay! Sorry for not updating ANY of my fanfics. To be honest, I don't know when (if) I will update them. Inspiration is not striking for Fairy Tail. I have however, broadened my Fandom list. (May I just say, Kuroko no Basuke is my new favorite anime.) So expect some Aokaga (If you dunno what that it, look it up. You should be ashamed. Just Kidding!)


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